[AEE] Episode 2566 – Does Strong English Run in Your Family?

1. Does ___ run in your family?

Meaning: Is this trait or skill common among your relatives? It could be genetic or something learned at home.

Examples:

  • You stay calm under pressure. Does that run in your family?
  • Your whole family seems musical. Does that run in your family?
  • You are great with numbers. Does a love of math run in your family?

2. It runs in the family

Meaning: This trait appears in several family members.

Examples:

  • Patience runs in the family. My dad and my sister are both like that.
  • Wavy hair runs in my family, mostly on my dad’s side.
  • A strong work ethic runs in my family.

3. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

Meaning: A child is very similar to their parent, especially in behavior, personality, or life choices.

This can be positive or negative. It depends on tone and context.

Examples:

  • Your son is a natural leader. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
  • He loses his temper quickly. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

4. Like father, like son / Like mother, like daughter

Meaning: The child resembles the parent in some way.

Examples:

  • He is competitive. Like father, like son.
  • She is very organized. Like mother, like daughter.

You can also say it playfully:

  • Always on time. Like father, like son.

5. I get my ___ from my mom or dad

Meaning: I inherited or learned this trait from that parent.

Examples:

  • I get my sense of humor from my dad.
  • I get my discipline from my mom.
  • I get my stubborn streak from my father.

6. Where do you get your ___ from?

Meaning: A friendly question that invites a story and shows admiration.

Examples:

  • You are great with people. Where do you get that from?
  • You are so patient. Where do you get that from?
  • You have a sharp eye for detail. Where do you get that from?

7. To backtrack a little

Meaning: To correct or adjust something you just said.

Examples:

  • Actually, let me backtrack a little. My dad is pretty athletic.
  • I said I am not competitive, but I will backtrack. I am during golf.

8. Dangerous territory

Meaning: A topic that could become sensitive or uncomfortable.

Examples:

  • Comparing careers can be dangerous territory.
  • Talking about family privilege can get into dangerous territory.

9. That’s more of a commentary

Meaning: That is more of an observation or comment, not advice or criticism.

About “commentary”

Yes. Here “commentary” basically means “a comment” or “an observation.”
It sounds more thoughtful and less emotional than just saying “That’s a comment.”

Examples:

  • I am not judging. That’s more of a commentary.
  • That’s more of a commentary than a complaint.

10. To pivot

Meaning: To smoothly change the topic or direction of a conversation.

Examples:

  • Let me pivot to something else.
  • To pivot a bit, how was your childhood?

Role Play Script

John and David talking at a dinner party.

John: You’re incredibly patient with your team. Does that run in your family?
David: Actually, yes. Patience runs in the family. My dad was the same way. I get my work ethic from him too.
John: Like father, like son.
David: Maybe. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I guess.
John: Where do you get your sense of humor from?
David: That’s from my mom. She always kept things light.
John: I respect that. Comparing people to their parents can get into dangerous territory, though.
David: True. Let me backtrack a little. I worked hard to build my own path.
John: Fair enough. That’s more of a commentary than a judgment.

One Paragraph Using All the Expressions

At a company dinner, a colleague told me I was steady under pressure and asked if that ran in my family. I told him that discipline runs in the family and that I get my work ethic from my dad, so maybe it is true that like father, like son and the apple does not fall far from the tree. He asked where I get my sense of humor from, and I said that comes from my mom. Then I warned him that comparing people to their parents can be dangerous territory, so let me backtrack a little because I have worked hard to build my own identity. In the end, I told him his observation was more of a commentary than anything else, and we both laughed before pivoting to a safer topic.

[AEE] 2558 – Let’s Talk Cars Part 3: Essential Car Vocabulary

1️⃣ Refined Daily Expressions & Idioms (with mature, real-life examples)

These are natural, elevated expressions pulled directly from the script, refined for confident adult conversation.

1. “I’m looking to buy…”

Why it matters: Polite, neutral, and non-aggressive. Perfect for stores, services, and big purchases.

Example:

“I’m looking to buy something reliable, not flashy.”

2. “I’m interested in buying…” (slightly more formal)

Why it matters: Sounds thoughtful and intentional—useful when you want to slow things down.

Example:

“I’m interested in buying a sedan, but I’m still comparing options.”

3. “I’m just at the beginning of my search.”

Why it matters: Softens pressure and protects you from pushy sales tactics.

Example:

“I’m just at the beginning of my search, so I’m not making any decisions today.”

4. “What are the most important things you’re looking for?”

Why it matters: A versatile question for purchases, hiring, or even relationships.

Example:

“At this stage of my career, work-life balance is one of the most important things I’m looking for.”

5. “I’m looking for something with…”

Why it matters: Clean, structured way to list priorities.

Example:

“I’m looking for something with good gas mileage and a solid safety record.”

6. “High safety rating”

Why it matters: Signals responsibility and long-term thinking.

Example:

“With kids in the car, a high safety rating is non-negotiable for me.”

7. “Bare bones”

Meaning: Only the essentials; nothing fancy.

Example:

“I don’t need anything fancy—just a bare-bones car that runs well.”

💡 Cultural note: This phrase is used far beyond cars (homes, budgets, software, travel).

8. “Nothing fancy—just needs to work.”

Why it matters: Extremely natural American phrasing.

Example:

“My first apartment was nothing fancy—it just needed to work.”

9. “Once you get used to it, you can’t go back.”

Why it matters: Common conversational phrase for comfort, lifestyle, or technology.

Example:

“Once you get used to working from home, it’s hard to go back to commuting.”

10. “A car is a personal purchase.”

Why it matters: Polite way to acknowledge different opinions without arguing.

Example:

“Everyone has different priorities—a car is a personal purchase.”

11. “Hard-ball negotiation”

Meaning: Aggressive, no-nonsense negotiating.

Example:

“Once you’re in the office, it usually turns into a hard-ball negotiation.”

12. “It loses value the moment you drive it off the lot.”

Why it matters: A classic American financial expression.

Example:

“That’s why I hesitate to buy new—it loses value the moment you drive it off the lot.”

2️⃣ Role-Play Script (Dealership Conversation)

Salesperson:

Hi, how can I help you today?

Customer:

Hi, I’m looking to buy a minivan.

Salesperson:

Great. What are the most important things you’re looking for?

Customer:

I’m looking for something with a high safety rating. I’d also really like leather seats.

Salesperson:

Absolutely. And would you want heated seats as well?

Customer:

Yes—especially in this weather. And I’d love an eight-seater.

Salesperson:

Perfect. Let me walk you through a few options.

💡 Why this works:

  • Calm
  • Direct
  • No over-sharing
  • Signals seriousness without rushing

3️⃣ One Paragraph Using ALL the Expressions

I’m looking to buy a car, but I’m just at the beginning of my search, so I’m taking my time. I’m interested in buying something reliable—nothing fancy—just a bare-bones vehicle that works. For me, a car is a personal purchase, and I’m looking for something with a high safety rating since my family will be riding in it. I know once you get used to certain features, you can’t go back, but I’m trying to be realistic because the moment you drive it off the lot, it loses value. When the time comes, I’m sure there’ll be some hard-ball negotiation, but at least I know exactly what I’m looking for.

Q: Wouldn’t it be smoother to say that because you know how tempting good features are, you’re trying to be realistic instead of using “but”?

A: Logically, yes. That structure is very smooth and makes complete sense. It follows a clear cause-and-effect flow. However, in spoken American English, especially in casual conversation, people often prefer to acknowledge the temptation first and then separate their final decision using “but.” The goal is not logical precision but emotional balance. The speaker is saying, “I understand the appeal, but I’m choosing a different standard.”

Q: Is it wrong to restructure the sentence without “but”?

A: Not at all. In fact, restructuring it can sound more reflective and thoughtful. For example:
“I know how easy it is to get attached to nice features, so I’m trying to look at this realistically.”
This version works well in more serious or introspective conversations.

[AEE] Do These Two English Words Make You Anxious?

1️⃣ Refined Daily Expressions & Idioms (with mature, real-life examples)

1. “I’m a little nervous about…”

Meaning: Mild, situational stress about something specific that will pass.
Tone: Normal, socially acceptable, very common.

Example:

  • “I’m a little nervous about the presentation tomorrow, but once it’s done, I’ll feel fine.”

2. “I’ve been feeling anxious about…”

Meaning: Ongoing or underlying concern; often longer-term and heavier than “nervous.”
Tone: More serious, reflective, emotionally honest.

Example:

  • “I’ve been feeling anxious about where my career is heading lately.”

3. “It’s a slow burn.”

Meaning: A feeling that builds gradually and doesn’t go away quickly.
Tone: Natural, thoughtful, emotionally fluent.

Example:

  • “It’s not one big issue. It’s more of a slow burn that’s been stressing me out.”

4. “I’m trying to anticipate all the possible problems.”

Meaning: You’re mentally preparing for what could go wrong (often linked to anxiety).
Tone: Honest, slightly self-aware.

Example:

  • “Before the move, I kept trying to anticipate all the possible problems.”

5. “Don’t get flustered.”

Meaning: Don’t panic or lose focus when things get confusing.
Tone: Supportive or annoying, depending on delivery.

Example:

  • “Don’t get flustered. We’ll take it step by step.”

⚠️ Cultural note:
Telling someone “Don’t get flustered” can feel patronizing if you’re not close or if they’re already in control.

6. “I’m feeling jittery.”

Meaning: Physically restless or shaky, often from stress or caffeine.
Tone: Casual, very American.

Example:

  • “I’m a bit jittery. I had way too much coffee this morning.”

7. “There’s a fine line.”

Meaning: The difference between two things is small but important.
Tone: Polished, analytical.

Example:

  • “There’s a fine line between being prepared and overthinking.”

8. “I’ve got it under control.”

Meaning: I’m managing the situation, even if I look tense.
Tone: Calm, confident, assertive.

Example:

  • “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve got it under control.”

2️⃣ Role Play Script (adapted & cleaned up)

Context: Two adults rehearsing for a play (or presentation).

A:

“I keep messing up this part. Deep breaths. Don’t get flustered. You know this.”

B:

“You’re right. I’m just a little nervous about the run-through this afternoon.”

A:

“I get it. Honestly, I feel anxious whenever I rehearse. It’s like a slow burn.”

B:

“Same. And I’m jittery today. One coffee too many.”

A:

“That’ll do it. But hey, you’ve got it under control.”

3️⃣ One Paragraph Using ALL Expressions Naturally

I’m a little nervous about the meeting this afternoon, but if I’m honest, I’ve been feeling anxious about bigger changes at work for a while. It’s more of a slow burn. I keep trying to anticipate all the possible problems, which doesn’t always help. By the time I walked in this morning, I was already feeling jittery from too much coffee. A colleague told me, “Don’t get flustered,” which honestly annoyed me. There’s a fine line between being supportive and talking down to someone. Still, I took a breath and reminded myself I’ve got it under control.

Q: What does “anticipate” mean, and why is it sometimes confusing?
A: “Anticipate” means to expect something before it happens and prepare mentally or emotionally for it. It does not mean to participate. It can feel active because it often involves planning or imagining future outcomes, especially problems, which may include worry or caution.

Q: What does “flustered” mean and how is it used in real situations?
A: “Flustered” means feeling suddenly confused or mentally unsettled due to something unexpected. It is usually short term and different from nervous or anxious, which can last longer. It is pronounced FLUS-terd, with the stress on the first syllable.

Q: What does “a fine line” mean and what does “fine” imply here?
A: “A fine line” means there is a real difference between two things, but the boundary is very subtle and easy to cross. The word “fine” means thin and delicate, not unclear.

Q: What does “It’s more of a slow burn” mean?
A: It means a feeling or problem develops gradually over time rather than appearing suddenly. It is often used to describe ongoing stress, anxiety, or frustration that quietly accumulates.

[ABAD] 3 Habits of People Everyone Likes (Even If They’re Not “Special”)

They complain less, care more, and talk in a kind way.

You know someone like this, right?

They’re not loud. They don’t try to show off.
But somehow, people like them, and they have a good reputation.

Why?

It’s not magic. It’s not luck.
It’s mostly about habits—and you can learn them.

1) They Don’t Say “It’s All Your Fault”

These people don’t feel “unfair!” all the time.
They don’t carry a lot of anger or “I’m the victim” feelings.

A big reason is this:

They know what they want, and they try to do something about it.

For example, if they want to learn something, they don’t say:

  • “You have to teach me.”

They say:

  • “What can I do today?”
  • “I’ll watch a short video.”
  • “I’ll read a little.”
  • “I’ll practice for 10 minutes.”

So they complain less, blame less, and feel less stressed.
And honestly… people feel comfortable around them.

Simple line to try:

  • “What do I need right now?”
  • “What’s one small thing I can do?”

2) They Help in Small Ways (And They Also Ask for Help)

There are people who always give, but they get tired and unhappy.
But the best kind of giver is different.

They care about their needs and your needs.

Here’s an easy example:

I’m getting water. I see your cup is empty.
I say:

  • “I’m getting water. Want some?”
  • “Do you want me to grab you one too?”

That sounds small, but it feels big.

It tells the other person:

  • “You matter.”
  • “I’m paying attention.”

They also use common, warm phrases like:

  • “Can you help me?”
  • “Do you need a hand?” (meaning: need help?)
  • “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”
  • “We did a good job together.”

This builds a “we’re a team” feeling.

3) They Listen Without Twisting Your Words

Talking to them feels easy. Why?

Because they don’t take your words in a bad way first.

Example:

You say:

  • “I ate something really good today!”

Some people think:

  • “Are you bragging?”
  • “So you’re saying you’re better than me?”

But liked people usually reply like this:

  • “Oh nice! What did you eat?”
  • “That sounds so good!”
  • “Lucky you!” (friendly tone)
  • “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

They do two simple things:

  1. Repeat the main idea (so you feel heard)
  2. Say something kind (so you feel good)

That’s why people think:

  • “I can talk to this person.”

A Super Useful Habit: Ask, Don’t Push

Liked people don’t act like they’re always right.
They ask questions instead.

  • “What do you think?”
  • “How do you feel about it?”
  • “Can we find a way that works for both of us?”
  • “What matters to you?” / “What matters to me?”

This is a big deal in work and relationships.

One Key Idea: There’s More Than One Way

Sometimes we want something (like fun, rest, love, support).
The problem starts when we say:

  • “You must do it my way.”

Instead, try this:

  • “I want some fun. If you’re busy, I can go for a walk.”
  • “If today doesn’t work, maybe tomorrow?”
  • “If you can’t join, I can go with a friend.”

Same need. More options. Less fighting.

Try This Today (Simple Practice)

  1. When you feel upset, say:
    • “What do I need right now?”
  2. When someone talks, say one of these:
    • “Oh really?”
    • “I see.”
    • “That makes sense.”
    • “I get it.”
    • “That sounds tough.” / “That sounds great!”
  3. When you want something, say:
    • “Can we talk about it?”
    • “What works for you?”
    • “Let’s find a middle ground.” (meaning: meet in the middle)

[AEE] Episode 2259 – What a Bummer! How to Respond to Misfortune in English

1️⃣ Refined Daily Expressions & Idioms (with examples)

1. “What a bummer.”

Meaning: A casual way to express disappointment about something minor or inconvenient.
Tone: Informal, empathetic, very American.
Use it for: Missed plans, small frustrations, inconveniences—not serious life events.

Examples:

  • “What a bummer. I was really looking forward to that trip.”
  • “Ah, what a bummer—the meeting got canceled last minute.”

2. “That’s a bummer.”

Same meaning, slightly less emotional than what a bummer.

Examples:

  • “That’s a bummer. You put a lot of work into that.”
  • “That’s a bummer, but we’ll figure something else out.”

3. “Bummer.”

Short, casual, conversational. Often used as a quick reaction.

Examples:

  • “Bummer. Guess I’ll have to reschedule.”
  • “Bummer—I just missed the train.”

4. “That’s rough.”

Meaning: A step up in empathy; often used when reacting to someone else’s situation.
Tone: Still informal, but more compassionate.

Examples:

  • “Working 30 days in a row? That’s rough.”
  • “Losing your credit card twice? Yeah, that’s rough.”

5. “That’s a shame / What a shame.”

Meaning: Polite disappointment; works for yourself or others.
Tone: Slightly more neutral and versatile.

Examples:

  • “That’s a shame—you would’ve loved the new place.”
  • “What a shame the weather didn’t cooperate.”

6. “Oh man…”

Meaning: A visceral, emotional reaction showing you’re engaged.
Tone: Very conversational; relies heavily on intonation.

Examples:

  • “Oh man, now I have to drive all the way back.”
  • “Oh man, that’s not how you wanted the day to go.”

7. “Oh no…”

Meaning: A softer, empathetic response—often used instead of repeating bummer.
Tone: Human, natural, emotionally responsive.

Examples:

  • “Oh no… the coupon was expired?”
  • “Oh no, that’s frustrating.”

8. “Double whammy”

Meaning: Two bad things happening back-to-back.
Note: Common expression, but usually only in this fixed phrase.

Examples:

  • “First I lost my keys, then my credit card—double whammy.”
  • “Car trouble and a missed meeting? That’s a double whammy.”

2️⃣ Role Play Script (from the conversation)

Context: Friends talking about shopping disappointment

Person A:
“I found the perfect jeans, but they were $400.”

Person B:
“Whoa—what a bummer.”

Person A:
“I wasn’t going to buy them, but then I found a coupon for 60% off… and it was expired.”

Person B:
“Oh no… yeah, what a shame. That’s rough.”

✔️ Notice how the response changes each time to avoid sounding repetitive and to show real listening.

3️⃣ Paragraph Using ALL the Expressions

I finally had a free weekend and planned to meet some friends, but the weather ruined everything—what a bummer. Then I realized I’d left my jacket at the office, which was a double whammy. Oh man, that day really didn’t go as planned. When I told my buddy about it, he said, “That’s rough,” which actually made me feel understood. I tried to laugh it off, but honestly, it was a shame because I’d been looking forward to it all week. Bummer—but at least we’ll try again next weekend.

Q1. What does whammy mean?

A.
A whammy is a bad or unlucky event.
In American English, it is most often used as “double whammy,” meaning two bad things happen close together.

Example

  • I lost my wallet, then my phone died. Double whammy.

Q2. What does rough mean?

A.
Rough means something is difficult, unpleasant, or stressful.
It is commonly used to show empathy.

Examples

  • Working all weekend? That’s rough.
  • It’s been a rough week.

[AEE] Episode 2560 – Do You Want the Long or Short Version? How to Open a Story with Respect

🎯 Refined Daily Expressions & Idioms

  1. “Do you want the long version or the short version?”
    – A tactful way to gauge how much time or interest someone has before launching into a story.
    👉 Example: “I can tell you how the meeting with the client went. Do you want the long version or the short version?”
  2. “Do you want the full play-by-play or just the highlights?”
    – Evokes a sports analogy; useful when someone might not want excessive detail.
    👉 Example: “I had a crazy day at work. Do you want the full play-by-play or just the highlights?”
  3. “Do you want the full story or the abridged version?”
    – A polished, slightly formal option that still feels casual in conversation.
    👉 Example: “About what happened at the reunion, do you want the full story or the abridged version?”
  4. “How much detail do you want me to go into?”
    – Direct, respectful, and adaptable even outside of storytelling contexts (like work explanations).
    👉 Example: “I can walk you through the budget changes. How much detail do you want me to go into?”
  5. “Settle in” (used idiomatically)
    – Describes preparing for a long or involved story.
    👉 Example: “If you really want the full story, you might want to settle in.”

🎭 Role Play Script: Respectfully Sharing a Story

Context: You’re chatting with a colleague during a coffee break.

YOU:
“Hey, so remember I mentioned that mess with the contractor last week?”

COLLEAGUE:
“Yeah, what happened?”

YOU:
“Well… it’s a bit of a saga. Do you want the long version or the short version?”

COLLEAGUE:
“Give me the highlights. I’ve got a meeting in ten.”

YOU:
“Alright, no problem. So the guy showed up two days late, then halfway through the job, tells me he needs to ‘run to the store’ and just disappears for three hours!”

🧩 All Expressions in One Paragraph

The other day, a friend asked me what happened with the home renovation, and I paused and said, “Do you want the long version or the short version?” I didn’t want to overwhelm him if he was just being polite. When he said, “Give me the highlights,” I knew not to go into the full play-by-play. I skipped the detailed blow-by-blow and gave him the abridged version. It felt good to check in like that. Nowadays, people really appreciate it when you respect their time and don’t assume they want every last detail. Honestly, I’ve learned to just ask, “How much detail do you want me to go into?” before I make someone settle in for a 15-minute monologue.

✅ Q&A

Q1: Why do native speakers say “the long version” or “the short version” instead of “a long version” or “a short version”?

A1:
Because the speaker is referring to one of two clearly defined options. “The long version” and “the short version” are treated as established, shared categories. Using “the” shows that both the speaker and listener understand these specific versions exist. Saying “a version” would sound vague, as if there are many undefined possibilities.

Q2: Why do people say “the full play-by-play”? Isn’t that too specific?

A2:
“Play-by-play” is a set phrase that originally came from sports broadcasting. Using “the” signals that you are referring to this familiar concept of a detailed, step-by-step account. It’s not just any random explanation, but a specific style of telling something in extreme detail, similar to a live commentary.

Q3: What does “It’s a bit of a saga” mean?

A3:
This phrase is a casual and slightly humorous way to say that a story is long, complicated, and possibly dramatic. “Saga” originally referred to long heroic tales from Norse literature. Today, it’s often used in everyday English to prepare someone for a story that might take a while to tell.

Q4: What’s the difference between “play-by-play” and “blow-by-blow”?

A4:
Both mean detailed descriptions, but there are slight differences in tone and usage.

  • Play-by-play usually feels neutral or light and comes from sports, often used when recounting everyday situations in detail.
  • Blow-by-blow can sound more intense or dramatic, often used for arguments, fights, or emotionally charged stories. It may carry a heavier or more tedious connotation.

Examples:

  • “He gave me a play-by-play of the wedding.”
  • “She gave me a blow-by-blow of the argument with her sister.”

Q5: Was “play-by-play” really used in sports?

A5:
Yes, absolutely. “Play-by-play” was originally a term from sports broadcasting. A play-by-play announcer describes every moment of the game in real time so listeners can visualize the action. Over time, the phrase entered everyday speech to mean an extremely detailed account of any event, not just sports.

[AEE] Episode 2559 – Are You Laissez Faire About English?

🔑 Key Expressions & Idioms

  1. Comme ci, comme ça
    Meaning: So-so; neither great nor terrible.
    Example:
    “How was the client meeting?”
    “Eh, comme ci, comme ça. They’re still on the fence.”
  2. Laissez-faire
    Meaning: A hands-off approach, especially in management or parenting.
    Example:
    “He’s got a pretty laissez-faire approach to supervising. No micromanaging at all.”
  3. Touché
    Meaning: A witty acknowledgment of someone scoring a clever point in conversation.
    Example:
    “You said my playlist was bad, but you played Nickelback last week.”
    “Touché.”
  4. On route (en route)
    Meaning: On the way.
    Example:
    “Just got your message. I’m on route. Be there in 10.”

🎭 Role Play Script

Scenario: Two longtime friends are texting while prepping for a group dinner.

Mike:
“Hey, how’s your day going?”

Jason:
“Comme ci, comme ça. Had a few work headaches, but nothing major.”

Mike:
“Still bringing that brisket tonight?”

Jason:
“Yeah, I’m on route now. Just hit some traffic.”

Mike:
“You’re on route and didn’t text until now? Classic you.”

Jason:
“Touché. Can’t argue with that.”

Mike:
“Hope you didn’t take a laissez-faire approach to seasoning this time.”

Jason:
“Hey, it’s bold flavor, not lazy cooking.”

🧩 All-in-One Paragraph Using the Expressions

After a long day that was strictly comme ci, comme ça, Jason took a laissez-faire approach to the evening, embracing no stress, just good food and old friends. He texted Mike, “On route now,” though he was already ten minutes late. When Mike joked about his timing, Jason replied with a humble “Touché,” knowing he had no defense. Despite the relaxed attitude, he was confident his brisket would steal the show.

[AEE] Episode 2557 – Can’t Help It? How Imperfection Leads to Connection

Refined Expressions from the Episode

Here are the key daily expressions and idioms worth mastering from the episode:

  1. I can’t help it / I can’t help [verb]ing
    Meaning: I’m unable to control or resist doing something.
    Example: I can’t help checking my email even when I’m on vacation.
  2. I can’t stop myself from [verb]ing
    Meaning: I’m aware I should stop, but I continue anyway.
    Example: I can’t stop myself from scrolling through news headlines at bedtime.
  3. I can’t resist [noun/verb-ing]
    Meaning: I find something too tempting or enjoyable to say no to.
    Example: I can’t resist a good dad joke, no matter how cheesy it is.

🗣️ Role Play Script

Scene: Two friends in their 40s walking through a gourmet food market on a Saturday afternoon.

Jack:
Whoa, do you smell that? That bakery’s pumping out some serious chocolate chip cookie vibes.

Mark:
Don’t even get me started. I can’t help grabbing one every time I pass by here.

Jack:
Same here. I can’t stop myself from sampling everything at these food stalls. Last time, I left with three kinds of cheese I didn’t need.

Mark:
I get it. I can’t resist a good cheese spread. My fridge is basically a dairy museum.

Jack:
Yeah, and my wife always says I can’t help hoarding hot sauces. She’s not wrong.

🧩 Paragraph Using All the Expressions

I know I can’t help stopping by the local bakery after work. The smell alone draws me in. Even when I try to be disciplined, I can’t stop myself from grabbing a warm cookie or two. And don’t get me started on the weekend market; I can’t resist those artisan cheeses and sauces. My pantry is packed, but every time I walk through that place, it’s like I lose all willpower. I tell myself I’ll just look, but let’s be honest. I just can’t help it.

❓Q1: What does “pumping out” mean?

🅰️ A1:
“Pumping out” means producing something in large amounts or continuously, often with energy or force.

Example:

  • That bakery is pumping out the smell of cookies.
    (It means the smell is coming out strongly and constantly.)

Other examples:

  • They’ve been pumping out new songs all year.
  • That factory is pumping out smoke every day.

❓Q2: Why say “left with” instead of just “left”?

🅰️ A2:
“Left” means you simply exited or went away.
“Left with” means you went away carrying or taking something with you.

Example:

  • I left with three kinds of cheese I didn’t need.
    (This means you bought them and took them home.)

Other examples:

  • We went to browse but left with a new chair.
  • She left with a big smile on her face.

❓Q3: What does “hoarding” mean?

🅰️ A3:
“Hoarding” means collecting or saving a large amount of something, often more than you really need. It can sound a bit negative or obsessive.

Example:

  • I can’t help hoarding hot sauces.
    (This means you keep buying and storing many hot sauces.)

Other examples:

  • He’s hoarding snacks like there’s going to be a shortage.
  • Some people hoard old newspapers for no reason.

[ABAD] What AI Still Can’t Do: Define and Solve the Right Problem

Here’s a structured 4-week learning plan to build the core skill of problem definition and problem solving in real-world tech contexts, especially useful for analysts, engineers, data scientists, and other product-oriented roles.

This plan focuses on deep thinking, structured reasoning, and practical application, helping you become the kind of person who can ask better questions, form sharper hypotheses, and tackle complex problems piece by piece.

🎓 4-Week Learning Plan:

Build the Skill of Defining and Solving the Right Problems

🧭 Goal of This Plan

By the end of 4 weeks, you will:

  • Know how to analyze a situation deeply instead of reacting to symptoms
  • Be able to form testable hypotheses instead of jumping to assumptions
  • Learn how to break down vague or complex problems into solvable units
  • Practice these skills using real scenarios, cases, and your own work context

📅 Week 1: Train Your Observation Skills

Theme: Go deeper than the surface

Objectives:

  • Recognize when you’re reacting to symptoms, not root causes
  • Learn to gather full context before trying to solve anything

Activities:

  • Daily Reflection Prompt: At the end of each day, write down: What was one problem I encountered today?
    Did I really understand why it happened?
    What questions did I ask (or fail to ask)?
  • Practice: Pick one recurring issue in your team or product. Interview 1–2 people using open-ended context questions:
    • “Can you walk me through what happened, step by step?”
    • “What were you trying to achieve?”
    • “What made it difficult?”
  • Watch & Analyze (Optional):

📅 Week 2: Learn to Form Hypotheses

Theme: Think like a scientist, not a firefighter

Objectives:

  • Stop guessing. Start testing assumptions with clarity.
  • Learn the structure of a good hypothesis.

Key Concepts:

  • A hypothesis is falsifiable: you can prove it wrong with data or observation.
  • It connects a cause → effect, like: “We believe X is happening because of Y, and if we do Z, this will change.”

Activities:

  • Exercise: For 3 problems from last week, write out hypotheses.
    • Bad: “Users don’t like this page.”
    • Better: “We believe users are dropping off because the checkout form is too long. Reducing it by 3 steps will improve completion by 20%.”
  • Watch:
  • Apply it: In your current work, pick one metric drop / bug / feedback item.
    Write a formal hypothesis for why it’s happening and how to test it.

📅 Week 3: Practice Problem Decomposition

Theme: Make big problems small and solvable

Objectives:

  • Learn how to dissect complex, ambiguous problems
  • Build a repeatable process to break things into root causes and steps

Techniques to Practice:

  • Fishbone Diagram (Ishikawa): Map causes of a problem visually
  • User journey mapping: Understand which step causes friction
  • Data pipeline tracing: Where does the issue start — source, transform, query, UI?

Activities:

  • Case study practice: Pick one vague problem like:
    • “Our model accuracy is bad”
    • “People aren’t using this feature”
    • “The dashboard feels confusing”

Break it down into:

  1. Specific impact
  2. Components/systems involved
  3. What can be isolated, tested, or narrowed
  • Practice in your job: Pick one “fuzzy” complaint from a stakeholder. Clarify it into multiple concrete sub-problems.

📅 Week 4: Integration and Real-world Application

Theme: Put it all together

Objectives:

  • Build your own reusable problem-solving checklist
  • Apply your new thinking in a real work scenario
  • Get feedback and iterate

Activities:

  • Create your personal problem-solving playbook
    Include:
    • Context-gathering questions
    • Hypothesis templates
    • Decomposition techniques
    • “Have I considered…” checklist (assumptions, blind spots, systems)
  • Choose one real problem this week, and:
    1. Interview stakeholders or observe real data
    2. Write 2–3 hypotheses
    3. Break it into sub-problems
    4. Propose experiments or next steps
  • Ask for feedback from a teammate or manager: “Did I frame the problem well? Are the assumptions clear? Did I overcomplicate or oversimplify?”

🧰 Bonus Tools & Resources

ToolUse CaseLink
5 WhysRoot cause analysisInternal wiki or online template
Notion or ObsidianDaily reflection / problem journalFree tools
Excalidraw / WhimsicalVisual problem mappingexcalidraw.com
Trello / MiroMapping user journeys or systemsYour choice

🧠 Key Mindset Shifts

Instead of…Do this…
Jumping to solutionsSlow down and explore the context
Blaming data/toolsAsk where the system broke down
Reacting to symptomsDefine the actual problem clearly
Accepting requests at face valueClarify the “why” behind them

[ABAD] How to Stay Relevant in the Age of AI

“Your job title won’t protect your role. Your skills will.”

In the AI era, many professionals across tech roles are asking the same uncomfortable question:

“With AI evolving so quickly, will my work still matter?”

This isn’t just a Product Manager’s concern. It’s equally relevant for data analysts, data scientists, engineers, designers, and more.

While AI continues to automate tasks, one thing remains irreplaceable:

The ability to deeply understand problems, define them clearly, and solve them effectively.

Founders are moving faster. Where does that leave the rest of us?

Startups today often operate in what some call “founder mode.”
Decisions are made quickly. Products are shipped even faster. Traditional roles are more fluid than ever.

So if your value is tied only to your job title or your tools, you may be vulnerable.
What matters now is this:

Can you create value, regardless of your role or title?

What AI still can’t do: Understand real human problems

Whatever your domain, one truth remains:

You need to know who you’re building for, what their pain points are, and why solving that problem matters.

For example, a team once considered using AI to automate security questionnaires. On paper, it sounded great.
But after interviewing real users, they found that speed wasn’t the main concern. It was accuracy.

These users worked in cybersecurity. A fast but unreliable answer wasn’t useful.
What they needed was trust and precision.

That level of insight only comes from talking to users, understanding their world, and asking the right questions.

A better way to ask questions

Want deeper insights from users, customers, or even teammates?
Avoid asking vague questions like:

“What do you find frustrating?”

Instead, ask something more grounded:

“What was it like the last time you did [specific task]?”

This opens the door to real stories, emotions, and breakdowns in experience.
And it works just as well in data analysis, user research, or debugging workflows.

What does it mean to “define and solve the right problem”?

This phrase is often repeated, but rarely unpacked.
Let’s define it clearly.

Definition:

The ability to identify root causes behind surface-level symptoms, understand the broader context, and reframe vague issues into specific, solvable problems.

It’s not about jumping into solutions. It’s about stepping back and asking:

  • What’s really going wrong here?
  • Why is this happening now?
  • What would success actually look like?

How to build this skill

1. Focus on context, not just symptoms

When a system fails or a user gets stuck, don’t just fix the surface issue.
Ask about the full journey: what led to this moment, what constraints were in play, and what trade-offs they were juggling.

Helpful prompts:

  • “When was the last time this happened?”
  • “What were you trying to do?”
  • “Why did you choose that method?”

2. Form hypotheses before solving

Instead of jumping to conclusions, form a testable hypothesis.

  • “I believe users are abandoning the form because it’s too long.”
  • “I think this model is failing due to data imbalance in specific segments.”

This lets you test assumptions before overbuilding the wrong thing.

3. Break big problems into smaller ones

Statements like “The model isn’t accurate” or “The data is wrong” are too vague.
Instead, investigate:

  • Which segment is failing?
  • Is the issue in input data, processing, or interpretation?
  • What edge cases cause errors?

When you can deconstruct a problem, you’re already halfway to solving it.

Why this matters more than ever

AI can write code, generate images, and even suggest solutions.
But it still struggles with this:

Choosing the right problem to solve.

That job still belongs to us.

The people who will thrive are not just those who use AI tools,
but those who know why and when to use them,
and who understand what problem is actually worth solving.

Three types of AI-native organizations

If you’re working with AI, it’s helpful to understand which type of organization you’re in:

  1. Model-first companies
    Focused on training and improving foundational models
  2. Application-focused teams
    Using AI to solve real user problems
  3. Infrastructure/tooling providers
    Helping others build with AI more effectively

Each type demands different skills.
Where you sit along this spectrum affects how close you are to the customer, and how much room you have to shape the product.

Wherever you are, the key is the same:
Understand the problem, not just the technology.

AI is a kitchen, not a magic box

Here’s a useful metaphor.

Some chefs grow their own ingredients.
Others open the fridge and make magic with what’s inside.

AI is the fridge. You don’t always control the model, or the data, or the limitations.
But your job is to know what’s available, what’s not, and what’s possible within those constraints.

And most importantly, you need to know what the person you’re serving actually wants to eat.

Your AI-era survival strategy

No matter your role, here are five skills that will help you stay relevant:

  1. Understand the real problem before solving it
  2. Know what AI can and cannot do
  3. Validate with data and test constantly
  4. Set realistic expectations around limitations
  5. Connect customer needs, data, and technology

Whether you’re an analyst, engineer, designer, or scientist, these are the muscles to build.

Final Thought

AI might replace parts of your workflow.
But it can’t replace your judgment, your empathy, or your ability to define the problem no one else saw.

To stay ahead, don’t just keep up with AI.
Learn how to use it to solve the right problems.

Because that’s still something only humans can do.